What do I choose, Lord?

Have I ever complained about not having enough to do? Forgive me, Lord. I can't seem to remember a time like that in my life, though I know those moments have come around leaving me totally confused.

The thing is, I'm a person who totally overcomplicates things. If I have any freetime on my schedule and find out there's some sort of meeting or event I can be part of, I sign myself up without hesitation. As far back as I can recall, I have lived this way. And yet when I first came to trust Christ as Savior, I remember enjoying long and uninterrupted hours with Him, all alone and with no pressing items on my agenda. Just me and Jesus. What a rockin' time that was in my life. No distractions, nothing competing for my attention. It was like God pressed the "pause" button on my life so a foundation could be laid in my relationship with Him.

And then life started happening, slowly but surely. I got plugged into my first church and started getting involved with ministries, and everything looked so good to me that I just jumped on the bandwagon whenever anyone told me about a new ministry opportunity. A year after coming to the Lord, I found myself leading worship in one church, leading an international student ministry on campus, leading a prayer and outreach ministry in the cooperative I lived in, on the leadership team of two campus ministries, ministering to kids in an underprivileged apartment neighborhood every Friday afternoon, going to a couple of different Bible studies, each week, and diving into any other ministry I could get involved in, whether one-time events or weekly ones.

Now looking back on that time in my life, I am so thankful to the Lord for pointing out to me that I was not being a good steward of my time. All the things I was doing were great, for the Kingdom cause, but the problem was that I was not called to all of those things. God created humans with certain needs, including rest, and most importantly with the need to connect with Him in the quiet, away from all the activity of the world or even of ministry. He tells us in Psalm 46:10: "Be still and know that I am God." Or in another translation, "Cease striving...". I have come to realize that I can't be where God wants me spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and even physically, if I don't take the time-out to connect with Him one-on-one. Time to be still and know Him.

So why do I keep drowning myself in ministry? Why do I feel like I'm always darting about but never being still before Him? Why do I have such a hard time juggling work, youth ministry, missions, team-building, ministry to friends, leading worship, class in the school of ministry, the in-home ministry we've just started up, a high-school guys' discipleship group...? The answer: I'm doing too much. God is telling me that as clear as day, and has been for a while. He has told me through my Scripture reading, He has told me as I sing to Him in worship, He has told me through dear friends who care enough to confront me with it...And He has gotten through to me...He wants to teach me to simplify. To Keep-It-Simple-Stupid. Am I willing to learn?

Lord, please make me willing. I can't go on like this. I'm doing too much--again. I need Your help BIG time. Show me what to let go of and how to do it. Show me how to be still before You again. I love You.